Yes! There are many things I’d like to be free of. This was perfect opportunity to let go of ‘a’ relationship.

In this particular aspect, I have struggled for last ten months to let go. Due to the misery it had caused in initial couple of months, I took help of japa intensely. Soon the Mind got trained to auto play -’Aham Brahmasmi’ every time the negative thought of relationship would haunt me. It was amazing how( like Pavlov experiment), Aham brahmasmi was triggered every time I thought about the relationship.

So it goes on for few months. The thoughts are less but still hide in angry and sad places of my mind, ready to leap out.

Today I decided- Enough!! I once again asked for God’s grace as I sat close to Him and cried. On the day of Hanuman Jayanti, may I be budhir balam!

May I have dhairayam( determination).

He is the one who- ‘Nashe rog, hare sab peera.’

Why do I have to worry about? It is what it is, for me to learn. The lessons are tough sometimes but they are for my own growth.

With prayers to Him, I let go.

I let go of the pain, the tears associated with it. I let go of sadness. I let go of dependence. I let go of self pity, I let go of being a victim. I forgive myself and I forgive that relationship. I pray and let go.

This verse from one of favorite ancient poetry books gives me lot of hope too-

For He who fixed the race, and knew its length and danger, also knew the runners strength.

~Bird Parliament by Farid ud Din Attar