I reflected on this and questioned myself whether I truly am adhikari. The four important determinants to be adhikari that I had good fortune to study in advanced Vedanta course are-

• Viveka
• Vairagya
• Sat sampatti
• Mumukshtvam

I queried myself -do I possess any of them?

Answer-Only in half measures! These half measures do not lead to enlightenment. Here I’m crying for Bhagvan our of my perceived separation, yet I still have not given up my dependence on Articles, Beings, Circumstances, completely. I still waste time on pleasure, position and possession.

What makes me adhikari?

Answers is- Nothing that I can see in myself. The only thing that may make me adhikari is His grace and the blessing of guru shishya parampara. This also shows clearly how compassionate Bhagvanji is to bestow this grace even to undeserving student like me.That realization brings tears.

I’m trying to give up slowly on all mortal loves. ( until I’m able to see Him in all). The process has been bit painful to say the least but His love has always been there.

My only claim ( if you could call that) to be at His feet is-my love for Him. Nothing else that I possess makes me deserve such good fortune.

Reminds me of my favorite verse from the book- Bird Parliament-

“by no virtue of my own

Sulayman chose me,

but by His alone.”~ Bird Parliament. by Farrid-ud-Din-Attar