Record reactions-
There is always a thought in my mind which I try to drown with Om Namah Shivaya. Yet it keeps rearing in different forms and names which I classified as reactions.
I tried to categorize them in these ways. Here are few-
- Love-
* As Ira made funny faces like she does so many times
* When kids come to cuddle- both are teenagers now but still like to cuddle before they go to their rooms at night.
* As I cook and all gather at kitchen island to eat and we all laugh. Arul berates us for doing Brahma Arpana mid way and not remembering it at start of meal, sometimes. He never forgets!
2. Longing-
* As I listened to the song Aaqaa by Abida Parveen;( and many others)
* As I sat in contemplation thinking what can I do to deserve His presence/ Darshan? When can I see Him?
* As I looked at Lord Shiva’s and pictures of Kailasha, intense feeling of something amiss in me and an intense desire to be there came. A void that can only be filled with Him. Kailasha calling
3. Annoyance-
* at procrastination of one of the family members
*At someone who said they will come in Thursday to meet when actually we have AG class — I refused.
4. Joy-
* At the first snow after winter storm . It was so lovely. His presence everywhere. The sun is the sky, the grounds are covered in white. All is right with the world.
* Ira started playing Xmas music yesterday and we both danced in kitchen. Vivek asked why are we playing this before thanksgiving, and we both kept dancing and shouting that we don’t follow such rules.
5. Indecision-
* As we try to navigate different high schools to enroll our daughter as she graduates from current school.
6. FOMO- at the prospect of missing out in an event
7. Surrender- I have faith that He will guide me in all my actions if I allow myself to listen.
I concluded that all reactions are possibly due to perceived separation. If there is Oneness, there won’t be reactions.
Just Being! Complete, full of unconditional love
Gratitude to guru shishya parampara for teaching vigilance
