God is ! Yet we lack the vision to see Him.

In an attempt to develop this vision , I see His presence everywhere now. From the ethereal white snow early morning, the melodious birdsongs to the gloriously effulgent sunrise; from the tears in my eyes to the love in my children’s hearts. Yes, God is!

Just mentioning seven signs here-

1. I had been seeking deeper meaning in life for many many years. I was very much lost though and did not know where to look. I became a pessimistic child. I would go to the temple and just sit alone silently in a corner and cry….. even as a teenager. I didn’t know any prayers but I felt deep connection with bhagvan. I did not know why I cried in His presence. I just felt a deep longing. I now know that it was the feeling of my separation from Him. He was calling me. God has always been there.
2. 2. Like anyone else, in this human life, I have had many ups and downs. When I was all alone and felt hopeless and helpless, Bhagvan has always sent A person in different phases of my life to lift me up. In form of a teacher, a friend, a well wisher…. A hand to hold, before I fall. God is always there.
3. 3. During the most strenuous times of my life, where I had to make difficult decision, I always get a dream which gives me solution. It’s uncanny. It may sound silly that any major decisions I have made in my life, the solution has appeared in form of a dream. It would wake me up at 3 or 4 am and I would know the answer right away ! This has happened at least 4–5 times. That can happen only by Bhagvans hand.
4. 4. Even as a child I had deep seated intuition of my death happening at younger age. I always knew I will die in my forties. ( ha! Not very young) As I got older, that feeling got stronger and I got more fearful especially now since I had children. Only with Guru’s guidance and. God’s Grace I am slowly overcoming that fear. I have realized that it may not be a physical death at all. It may be death of the the life as I knew it. It may be death of my old ways. It may be the death of ignorance/ the death of Ego…. ( i Hope) It may be transformation. It’s like metamorphosis — a larva becoming butterfly. I know that I’m just a custodian of my children. They have their lives whether I’m in it or not- bhagvan will take care of them. They are God’s children.
5. 5. As I struggled for decades with the feeling of- ‘This is not what I’m here for’. That feeling of being incomplete despite having everything, a beautiful. life and wonderful family . I had strongest feeling that my purpose is more than just being a daughter, sister, mother, wife, doctor ….. but I did not know what my true purpose was. It made me very restless and sad. As Rumi says- ‘when the student is ready, the teacher appears.’ May be finally I was ready and I got reconnected with my friend Ruma in 2013 who has been my first guide on this spiritual journey. My immense gratitude- she answers the questions that exist only in my mind and haven’t found words yet !! Then connecting with Vivekji in Jan 2014. That was transformative ! It changed the whole outlook. He truly brought light into my self created darkness. God is ! My only purpose is to find Him…. within me.
6. 6. Connecting with Chinmaya Mission — that can happen only with Bhagvans grace. During my Bharat yatra in 2015, as we reached Adi Sankara Nilayam, I had a strong feeling that I’m HOME. I have never felt like this at any other place despite lots of travels. It felt like I have been here before although it was my first visit. (in some previous lifetime may be ). It brought the distant foggy memories and all I could do was cry. I cried probably the whole time. My then 12 year old son asked me- “Why are you crying mamma?” I replied though tears- “It seems like I have come home after a very long time”. He said in his childlike wisdom- “ If you have come home, you should be happy then !” Maybe they were tears of Joy, the remembrance of that I had walked those grounds before, such intense was the energy of that place.
7. 7. Bhagvan has aligned everything for me to evolve….. my family, my work, my associates, the opportunity for Satsanga and Vedanta classes. From being a pessimistic child, I have grown into a very optimistic and cheerful adult.( His grace). What is my excuse for not following this path to reach Him? Most importantly He has given me the greatest blessing — The Guru! Only He can do that. Yes! God is…. Now in form of Guru.

He makes His presence felt everyday in many ways- from a biblical message behind a truck, to the bird sitting on a branch outside, a look in someone’s eyes, touch of a hand, silence of the nature and the voices of children playing ….. Can you see Him?

“The desire to know your own soul will put an end to all other desires.” ~Rumi.